Did anyone ever tell you to eat shit and die?

If you are an elite turbo hard core motherfucking k-rad cool dude like myself, then of course that you did; you place a sorry-ass-prick-fucker where he belongs, and all of a sudden, your mail socket is flooded with flame mail from the sorry-ass luser, and most of the messages end with "eat shit and die!!!" or just simply "esad!!!"...

But did you ever stop to think about that sentence, or did you just automaticaly jump up and replied with similar wishes?

Why don't we all conduct a mental experiment?

Imagine your lunch. There's soup. There's meat. There's vegetables. There's sauce. There's a cake. There's some salad. There's pasta.

A rather rich meal, wouldn't you say? Fot for a king? For an Emperor, even!

Right. Now imagine a fork... no, hell, imagine a mixer. Imagine a gigantic Roseanne's-ass size'd pot. Okay, now dump all the food into the pot. Cover it with something, so that shit can't fly all over your kitchen.

Now turn the mixer on and stick it into the mash.

Rumble around with the mixer firmly for a while, and when you get an even mash in the pot, stop. Now leave the whole thing to cool off for a while (go look at my web page) and when you come back, what?

Your mom just kicked your ass for ruining a healthy nourishing meal? You dumbass! I told you this is a mental experiment!!! That doesn't mean _mental_ as in crazy-wicked-wild-ferocious!!! It means 'an experiment which we imagine, but never actualy do'!!!

Okay, so now, can we continue? Right. When you come back from watching my web page, take a handful of the gooie mass and shape it into a sausage-like object. Now leave the thing there to dry, and observe it carefuly.

Doesn't it look amazingly like shit?

Leave it around for long enough, and it will start stinkin' like shit, too.

Doesn't this lead you to a simple conclusion? What you eat every day and consider quality food, is actualy shit in disguise!!!

If you visit my top secret undergound web page, you will be able to see color photographs that prove that this is all a conspiracy brought on us by those sorry-ass-prick-fuckers I mentioned earlier, directed at making us actualy do what they say! I mean, you are gonna die eventualy some day, so all that remains is for you to eat shit. You are doing it, dude...

SO DON'T GIVE IN TO THEM!!!

NEXT TIME SOMEONE OFFERS YOU SOMETHING TO EAT, TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF AND GO TAKE DEEP BREATHS AND DRINK LOTS OF MILK!!!